. . . We bang our heads on the roof as luggage avalanches down around us, pinching fingers and feet. We groggily do our best to hold luggage up, but it’s piled to the ceiling and we’re nestled in the middle of it. So we spend most of the trip shoving pieces back into their slots and hoping that we don’t get injured again. . . .

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“At least this is better than riding a camel the whole way,” I think to myself.

Besides the fact that a camelback journey would drag on for days and that your numb bum would drag on after that, mounting the beast can be terrifying. In America you can go to the zoo and pay to spend a few minutes riding a camel around a circle. It’s all very calm and safe. You climb up to a platform where you wait your turn to slide into the saddle of a standing camel; you never get to experience the camel standing up or getting down!

Sudden Take-off and Landing

An authentic camel ride is a lot like a roller coaster ride. You have to hang on for dear life. As soon as your guide clucks, the animal lunges forward so that its tall hind legs can go up first. It then rocks back to accommodate the front legs. You are completely caught off guard that the ascent is so sudden and so steep. If you are not holding on tightly, you get thrown over the front of the saddle. Even if you do manage to stay on, your kids are going to wish they had a picture of your horrified and surprised expression.

Besides the fact that a camelback journey would drag on for days and that your numb bum would drag on after that, mounting the beast can be terrifying.

On top of that, camels are temperamental and they growl and complain every time they have to get down. Because their descent is so steep and awkward, you wonder if it is actually painful for them. A group of camels lying down for loading and unloading make so much noise that they sound like dying cows.

Sometimes they like to bite their riders too. They nibble on stuff like goats do, and they think it’s funny two nip you in the leg. Slime oozes out from between their teeth as they chew their food from side to side. When they get hot they often foam at the mouth, too. Besides getting nipped, the last thing you want them to do is smear some of that gross stuff on you. And if you squeal, they smile a big, lippy grin. 

Time to Eat

I’m thinking of grouchy camels chewing their slimy cud when we decide it’s time to stop for lunch. I’m actually quite hungry because we started our journey as the sun was rising. We went as long as possible before stopping, so as to avoid more of the noonday heat. Everyone begins to keep an eye out for a scraggly thorn tree that might provide some lattice-work shade. After another twenty minutes, we finally spot one that might be big enough. Luckily, it is not already occupied by a young boy watching his family’s goat herds. There is a little dried, scratchy grass underneath, but we roll out a traditional, small plastic woven mat and lay out our food.